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The Talking Diary
__________ Y e a n n a

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4/365 : one lesson you have learn

so it supposed to be 2days ago but then i fall asleep hahahaha. also i swap the question with 5th january since this one suits more in my 4th January heheheh.

one lesson : we shouldn't rely on just anyone or none

ikr it sounds so bitter but that's what i realize the most to be honestly. i was so greatful have such great friends linger around me but from time to time i starting hear bad things they're talking about me. their inner heart exposing from time to time judging all of these thinga happened as such a burden :) i'm refuse to talk more in details but hey it must be a good thing why god let me hear and face this moment so sure, friends 😊❤👌

xoxo, yyaaa


5/365 : the most important event of today

5/1/19 - Global Marketing (2:30 pm - 5:00pm)

after 2days gap, i tak keluar rumah pun duk study ja cover all the chapter semua, i tak tahu macamana i boleh salah ingat padahal setiap masa kut tengok jadual ya ampun😂 malam sebelum tu (4jan) faz siap tanya lagi 'paper kau pukul berapa sampai berapa, dimana' dan aku dengan yakinnya jawab "jam9-11 pagi". esoknya pun aku masih yakin bersiap siap depan cermin borak lagi sama faz "aku sebenarnya taktahu ali tu yang mana kau tahu faz?" and bila sudah sampai, aku pun cari la blok tu ikut kata faznya.

"okay, betul la ini. mesti tingkat 3 ni" so aku pun naiklah. kebetulan time tu sudah 8:30 and i ingat exam jam 9 tapi i tinjau tinjau teda pun classmate lain hairan juga. then dah naik atas tu aku jalan sampai hujung blok, "ahhh betul la yg depan tadi" tapinya sorang classmate aku tiada pun pelik gila.

aku pun mula gusar, 'salah tempat ka aku tengok ni' bermain main difikiran. ingatnya mau call sesiapa tapi entah aku takut kalau kalau aku yg silap hehehehe. so aku pun tengok la semula jadual final aku cek hari subjek tempat masa

laaah....

rupa-rupanya.....

aku ni sih salah tengok masa, PETANG rupanya paper aku! patutlah tiada siapa di sini punya la aku hairan.😂😂

setelah itu aku pun "takpa lah, pergi library lah" AND AFTER THAT I BARU TERINGAT......

aku ni buku untuk paper ni pun tak bawa mau revise gimana :')

tapi ada aku bekalkan buku untuk paper seterusnya sebab ikut plan asal after jawab paper pagi mau terus sambung untuk subjek lepasnya masa petang tu , so aku pun ingat okaylah. bolehla ni dari tak buat apa hahahaha :')

tapinya......
lama betul tahu library mau buka, tahu la aku sampai je tadi baru pukul 8:17 am ada lagi puluhan minit lagi baru buka dan tiba-tiba aku lapar😅 aku pun mau cari la makan, "cafe lib ni mcm tak mau buka ja, tapi pokcik tu ada sudah" jadinya aku keliru and decide , nak makan donut cafe tengah la 😋

sudahnya tu aku pun berjalan la menuju ke cafe tengah itu, sekalinya aku perasan tutup. hm kenapa ya aku sudah la lapar ni :(

then i pun baru realize.....

HARI SABTU RUPANYA MEMANG LA TIADA SIAPA PUN YANG BUKAA 😭😭😭😭

jadinya tu aku memang kelaparan betul seharian, dah la salah tengok jadual, buku pun tiada, biskut yang cadang mau bawa pun aku tinggalkan semula aduh :') so lepas ni liyana, beringatla kau jangan yakin sangat dengan diri tu kau tu dah la suka silap ingat aduhai la 😂😂

xoxo, yyaaa


3/365: how do i feel today

3 Jan 2019
i'm actually in final week right now but my next paper will be on 5th January while all my housemates have paper early in morning today hehehhe. so all i do today basically just studying, eating, sleeping and most of the time playing mobile game. omg, i am so attached and cant even control my usage rate lol. i download bunch of games with niat "after final i nak main" but suddenly after watching youtubers playing games...the urge feeling to play it too and look at me now, i am doomed. hahahahahah

xoxo, yyaaa


2/365 : vision for next year

woah it's only 2nd January and i'm start talking about next year already????😂 well, it's gonna be 2020 next year and YEAH I PUT LOTS OF FAITH FOR THAT. wishing for a great life and more importantly great mind 💃 i want to change my perception to be more open minded, accept people flaws and happy with their happiness. lol. kalau dulu zaman budak kecil lagi bila sebut 2020, mula la kereta terbang terbayang, jalanraya atas langit, alien pun wujud ha namun takda maknanya la semua imaginasi tu jadi realisasi hahahahaha. apparently for me atleast, 2020 is all about mentality bcs mind control always works the best especially in term of to build a strong develop country. heheh

xoxo, yyaaa.💝


1/365 : My biggest dream





idk if this going to be fun or not but i'll give a try heheh anyway i think my writing this might be awkward since it was too loyng i stop writing like this hehehe

biggest dream:
small wish but i put a lot of hope in this. i realllly want to make my parents proud and more importantly myself. i actually have such a high self-actualization that i never feel enough with myself. i think i should learn how to be greateful and appriciate myself more. yea, it's time for self-love and perhaps i could find the happiness in my life within this year ❤




xoxo, yyaaa

"Alah, kau pandai"

Bismillahirrahmanirrahim.

😊

every time. every time. every time. every time i hear people say this phrase, i reaaaaaaallly want to know what's in his/her mind :') how come they can be so ignorant and recklessly said that to other people who not even gifted and keep struggling like insane to be like who they are now. 

i have some friends who are really smart, always on the top rank, almost all teachers praise them because of their good attitude and good grades, but, sometimes they still feel upset with their own result. some of people might said they are ungrateful and greedy; but they actually just a normal human being. they also got their own goals that they need to achieve, like us. yes, they feel upset but that doesn't means they are ungrateful. please, please, please stick in your mind that everyone have their own conditions and live in different pressure.  

 

follow up story soon

Confession 101 ; page 1

Bismillahirrahmanirrahim .

so, it's already 2018 and now i am 19 years old but still live in my own shadow from the past 7 years. idk what's the right feelings i should have , idk how i'm gonna feel satisfied with myself , how to deal with past , i just not sure if all i do right now is the best choice i had decided idk😢 . 

i always feeling down, feels like i'm not good enough i keep want some praise from others; just to build up my own confidence. but for years, i realize i shouldn't wait for others to help me to change but i need to change myself , help my own self , and feel great with whatever come to my life. i tried to live in positivity. but i end up failed every time. i cried so hard on my own while trying so hard to keep it secret from anyone else. i appreciate myself. i proud with my result after all the hard work i give it in . i am happy and tell myself it was good enough, i did my best and that's okay to not have a perfect life. but then i realize no one else was proud of myself except me. i'm not saying that my parents don't,well i don't know, but i do think they were feels kinda disappointed of me💔

i trained myself to have a positive mind, telling myself it's okay to make mistakes but must learn the solutions afterward, tell myself that everything gonna be alright repeatedly and keep a strong grip of myself and hope i could do better every time.

xoxo,
yyaaa;